Have fun?

Nothing much cause today is probably the last today of term and everyone was like, "That's take a last day of term selfie" or "Miss, can we celebrate?" and such.. so yeah

We had a new teacher in French class. Well, not actually a "new" teacher. Just a substitute teacher for 6 weeks. Whadaa? haha. It is because Miss Matthews is going to French, so yeah. We just play games and stuffs like that to know each other and stuffs..

We play games again during Humanities but I didn't because I need to finish a sort of "poster" thingy. I don't even know what to tell ya cause nothing much happens AND TOMORROW IS THE FIRST DAY OF BREAK!! AND SUNDAY IS RAMADHAN!!

I really relly really can't wait for Ramadhan! ^^ But sometimes I don't feel like I'm ready and I'm afraid that I didn't spend it productively. Anyways, I wanna do it productively this year!! Wish me luck, okay? :)

Ramadhan 2014 Checklist

Khatam Qur'an in the month of Ramadhan

Pray 5 times a day. Never skip or late!
Pray 8 rakaat of terawih

Never miss Sahur

Break fast with date

Always zikir

Always make do'a

Make du'a during the "mustajab" time..

Worst?

I don't even know. Somehow I don't even feel like living on life. I don't even know why. Everything that happened today just seems so grey and it's killing me. I don't even know why. No one actually cares about me. I eventually cried during Science class thinking of this. I feel.. So.. describable.

I'm so sad that Ili is no longer here with me. She's the one who'd always care about me, asks me if anything went wrong and such. I just can't accept the fact that she's no longer here and NOBODY is actually here for me. ---- said that I'm her best friend but why did she went to --- rather than me?

My did she went to ----- instead of me? Why didn't she realize that I'm actually waiting for her? Why didn't she realized that.. I need her? Why didn't she realized that I'm putting high hope on her and I really really sincerely wanna be her friend.

But then I realize that I have Allah. He will always be here for me *bittersmile* Thank you, Allah. I know that you've planned the best for me. Somehow I wonder that maybe you didn't find me a friend yet so that I'm closer to you. And that's how I know that You'll always be here for me :) Alhamdulillah.

Everything happens for a reason. Who knows if it's the best for you?

Bon Anniversaire?

Nothing much to actually be related to the topic. hahha >< TBH i don't actually know what to put. soznotsoz. Okay, let's start my "story"! --- Today is Josef's birthday.. And yeah. hahha ;P

We learnt to draw a Mandala in Art class. An art where we have to put in symbols that represents us and stuffs. So, I put in a symbol of a crescent moon and a star cause that's represents Islam, right?

And Mr. Matt was like, "Turk, huh?" And I was like, "Err, no. I'm Malaysian' And he was like, "Then, what does this symbol represents?" And I was like, "Err, Islam? I'm a Muslim" And he was like, "Oh, in Turkish flag there are those symbols too.." And then he walks away..

We had an assembly for 5th period so we didn't have Humanities. Not really an assembly but I guess it's like a presentation about turtles. haha. So many stuffs I now know :) One of the stuffs I wanna share with you is.. If the temperature is hot, it will be a female turtle while if it's cool, it will be a male turtle. Why? Cause woman are hot and man are cool. HAHA xD The speaker actually said that!

During French today we do a "Croissant" thingy that I'm not really sure about. It's actually like the teacher wanna treat us with croissant. And I don't even know whether it's halal or not! And I was like.. "Miss,, I don't feel like having any"

And she was kind "shocked" and said, "You don't feel like having any? Why? Do you wanna take one home?" And I was like, "No" And she was like, "Why? Have you started fasting early?" And I was like, "Haha, no. I just don't feel like eating" And she was like, "Okay.."

The thing is, I don't even know why! I eventually feel kinda guilty. I don't even know why.. Hmm, And 22nd June is her birthday tho. Just so that le me in the future know ;P BTW, hey sup, whatcha doin?

K, enough with the nonsense! Today when the warning bell for the 6th period and I was like *mamai* cause OMG another class and then, it's ~The End~!! And suddenly there's a boy *tegur me. "Melayu, ehh?" He asked. And I was like, "haah" and then I procees to go to my locker.

But then I was like, "Wait, what?" But when I turns around to look who is it, there's nobody. I told Kak Za about it and she said that it's a ghost. hahah. I'm pretty sure it's not and maybe it's because I'm tired and stuffs and yeah. I bet he's Yusuf that Ibu mentioned before. Hmm, idec.

Whadaa

We are so late today because Kak Za wore the veil that I usually use because it's the easiest veil to wear. (Okay, stop blaming other). So, I gotta wear other veil and it is so complicated and we're SO LATE! We ran, rush to school on the windy and rainy day. (So dramatic, hahha!)

The moment I arrived to my class, the door had opened and everyone's inside. Kinda (not kinda, but yeah!) make me nervous but thank God the bell didn't went yet. huhh. During Humanities, I just sit there silence and not participating at all. Because I'm tired because of the running and stuffs.

And it is so awkward!! Did you remember that I told you that we had a new seating plan? I sit besides Omar Shaaban, yea? And he's always late and always away. And of course it will be me at the corner, nobody besides me, Esin, Murat ad so on. It is so awkward not sitting next to anybody. Especially when I'm at the end of the table! It seems like I'm stranded there with no connection with people.. krikrikrik ._.

Anyways, they (Adna, Sosek and Allanah) stalked my ask.fm during Science class ._. And there was this thoughts question about Sosek and I answered "She's so nice. I like her style" and she was like, "Aww, thank you!" And I was like.. *smile* hahha #AwkwardMomentEveryTime

I spent Lunch with Esin and the gang today! It is "so much fun" -,- not really tbh ;P But it's nice to hangout with Esin and Farrah and Lylah :) Eventhough it's so windy I gotta hold my shawl everytime and yeah. I hope tomorrow I could hagout with them againnnn!!!

I need..

someone who understands that I'm not good at English. I need someone to understand that I'm not used to all of this yet. I need someone who could bear with me eventhough I'm not special at all. I need someone being here for me..

Highlights?

Suddenly I don't even feel like writing anything in here anymore. But then I know I'll regret it -- So, yeah. Today Omar fell and "bleed" his knees. Well, as I could see, it's just two dots and yeah! Only that. And he was like screaming and stuffs ask if it is so freaking hurting --

And Miss Gray; with a tissue was like, "Oh my God! Omar, you seems like you're gonna die!" LOL, so sarcastic, our teacher, aye? ;) haha. And During IT class today, I met Angel :) She's from another form group. So, I don't really know her.

And another thing is, I'm not sure if it's yesterday or today (;P) I met Miss Zoch at the yard. She wore a flower crown ;) She's so gorg. I can't imagine that I won't be with her anymore ;(  But I'm so grateful that I've got the chance to meet her :) She's like the most awesome and supporting teacher I've ever met.

Made by me! ;P

"Sometimes it's not about holding on.. It's about letting go.."

Nothing much

Nothing much happened today. I don't even know whether it's "nothing much" or I'm just not in the mood for all of this stuffs. Maybe, yeaa. I don't really know. Mood swing, I guess ;P

Another Day..

I went to school kinda late today.. And it was all Kak Ina and Kak Za's fault! I'd almost late for IT. But thank God I'm not! huhh~

The first IT class. And guess what? I'm a loner. Well, I'm actually a loner in every class. So.. yeah.. I don't really know most of them tho. Cause they are all from different classes except for some of them.

During IT, Mr. Stewart asked us to open the dekstop using our account. But of course I don't even have any!! #AwkwardMoment

Mr. Stewart made an account for me! Yeayy!! And I just knew that he had been to Malaysia before. Which is last year to KL.And he ask me do I like Australia and stuffs. And.. yeah

IT is so boring! Hard disk, local disk, bla bla bla. Screencap, etc. As if we don't know! I thought they will actually teach us something we don't know.. But, what should I expect?

Ceren *tegur me during IT :) Saying that she followed me on ask.fm.. lol

First Art class. Our team gotta draw tigers for our front cover. Everyone search and copy from their iPad and I.. just use my imagination.. Think of how I did it! >< IT IS SO ASDFGHJKL AND I HATE IT

Esin give me a drawing!! *-* Thank you so much, Esin! I don't know how to reply it.. I guess I'm gonna try to draw doodles and give it to her! Pray for me, okay? ;P

Miss Gray was away for Humanities TT The substitute teacher gave us free time and yeah.. Awkward.. I don't know what to do so I just draw Omar.

Spend 15 minutes (i guess) during lunch alone cause Kak Za got detention because she's late. So.. awkward.. wandering.. alone..

Got into new French class team. I'm in Team B. Pretty much the same as the last team. Not sure who's out but as I know it's Farrah. The new students that come in are Philip (my classmate), Samiya (a girl who once ask if I'm Indonesian) and Sheyla. (a pretty girl from different form group that I don't even know).

Got our exam result for French. I've got 99%. Whaa?? haha. At least it's not that bad, aye? ;P

Oh.

Sigh. Finally the first day of Semester Two is over. Not as what as I expected though. Well, what to expect when you are too expecting? Anyways, maybe it's because today we're learning the core subjects only. The elective subjects and Language is held every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. So, yeah.

I still hangout with my sisters cause suddenly I don't even feel like "moving on life". I just.. don't know.. Anyways, we come early today because Ibu got so mad early in the morning, I don't even know why. So, my sisters wanna go to school early. So, we went to school early.

I came to school and saw white birds with pinkish or reddish feathers in front of them. I think it's Galah because once we did a Science Test and there's a section where we have to label the animals. And there's an animal named "Galah" and I was like, "WTH is actually Galah? Galah panjang?" And I just leave it there.

And Miss Savic was like, "Humaira, did you know what's Galah is?" And of course I was like, "No." And she asked Sonja to search it up for me and then I know that it's a bird. Whatever it is, such a wonderful sight, MasyaAllah! I can't believe it I can actually see a Galah! TBH I've never seen one before. Seriously.

And yeah, I remember going back to school and saw cocatoes on the way back. And we're like, "Seriously?" You know, in Malaysia, cocatoes can only be found in zoos and places like that. I can't even believe that I can see cocatoes, flying around the street. Once, we even saw them at our garage's roof!

Okay, back to my story,we came to school and then I return my book "Painted Love Letters" at the school library, while my sisters went to the school canteen because Kak Za wants to buy Simit and to return the money that she owed the school canteen. But the "saleswoman" she owe wasn't there.

So, yeah. And then we just wagging around the school. It's raining last night and the school just trimmed of the grass and our shoes are full of those grass -- So, we wanna clean it off, but we have no idea how.. And then we're just like.. Stepping the floor and such to get rid of the grass.

Hahha! People may thought that we're crazy, but who cares? And then we search for the classes where our new elective subjects were and then the bell rings and then we went to our classes. When we're waiting outside of the class for Miss Gray to come and teach us Humanities for period  and 2, I chat with Sonja.

She was like, telling me what she'd been through for the weekend. She said that she had been to a "horrible camp" and she said that she can't even cook. And I was like, just smiling. If not, then, what should I do? And she was like, "What are you smiling at?"

and I was like "I've been to that sort of camp before, but we just cook Maggi" And she was like, "What's Maggi?" And I was like, "Didn't you know the instant noodles.. Maggi?' And she was like, "Maggi? Owh.. Maggi? (she pronounce it as "Majji") And I was like, "Yea, yeaa.." And yeah.

And then Esin came and show me a picture of a drawing she drew. And I was like, "Wow, that's nice" and she was like, "Do you want it? I'll give it to you" and I was like, "!!" "Seriously? Thanks!!" OHMY *-* She promised to give it to me! JYEAH. I'm so happy eventhough I don't even got it yet. Hahha!!

And then Miss Gray came and open the door for us. We had a new sitting plan this semester. But I'm still in "The Tigers" though. Except for that The Tigers are AT THE FRONT ROW now instead of at the back row. My team is now from the left are; me, Omar S, Esin, Murat, Larissah and Ozanhan.

Why the hell did Miss Gray put me besides Omar? ;( WHY? sigh, maybe there's a reason behind it. Well, I hope so. For Humanities, we just spend the two period doing our reflection, character strengths and our front cover for English and Humanities.

Throughout the session, Miss Gray also let out the teams (Tigers, Lions, Eagles and Wolves) one by one to go to our lockers and paste the Semester Two time table with blu-tacks. I'm the one who are incharged with the time tables and blu-tacks. It is supposed to be Larissah but she handed it to me. So, yeah.

IT IS SO FREAKIN COLD OUT THERE MY HANDS WERE FREEZING. I'm not joking. It is a hundred percent true. Whatever it is, bla bla bla and then it's recess. I spend it with my sisters. Kak Za bought Simit and pay he owed money and Kak Ina (and me) eats Kak Ina's snacks (hehhe ;P)

And then it's time for class. We've got English at the Library for period 3 and we learnt to make a book trailer. Well, we don't even learn yet. Just.. trying to get the idea of it, I guess. bla bla bla, the next period is Science, I forgot to take my books, gotta go back to my locker, THANK GOD I'M NOT LATE! huhh.

Anyways, on my way to my locker, Josef said to me, "Humaira, we have Science class here" and I was like, "I forgot to bring my books" and he was like, "Okay". When I took my books, I rushed to my Science class and then I bumped into Hido (Hidayet) and he was like, "Humaira, YOU ARE LATE!"

And I just rolled my eyes. If not, then, what should I do? lol. Science class went normal, ba bla bla, and then it's Lunch time! I hangout with Kak Za and yeah. Just stuffs like that. I think that's all. This post have been so long like whadaa.. I don't think I'm gonna be able to actually re-read it. hahha! 

Genial Nouvelles!!

OHMY I'm so happy I "accidentally" spoken French!! hahha! TBH I just search the word news. Soz to say but yeah. The news is.. I bet you've known it which is Ibu wanna buy me an iPad!! As a present for my UPSR (or PSRA, idk) And yeah! Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah. I couldn't thank God enough. I hope I'll always use it productively and never mis-use it. Ameen. I hope I'll be more successful with it. Ameen. 

OH MY

sigh. I just realized that I keep busying about iPad i forgot that TOMORROW is the first day of Smester Two. OMG. I don't even know why suddenly I'm not excited about it -- sigh may Allah ease everything, Ameen. Another thing I wanna try to do this semester is to be confident and JUST SAY anything I wanted to say! Like, who cares if I pronounce it wrong? Who cares if my sentence is wrong? I'm not one of them! And if I could, I would wanna just answer the questions that the teachers asks when I know it. Like, all of this time I've been NOT answering the questions I know cause I wanna let anyone else answer them. WTH is actually wrong with me? sigh. I hope everything will be alright. Ameen.

I have no idea.

I don't know! Today is the day Ibu promised to buy me an iPad. But she didn't even mention anything about it. Should I remind her or what? I don't know! I wanna ask her but I don't even know why I can't!! May Allah ease everything, Ameen!!

Impossible

ARGHH >< I desperately need an iPad! I don't even know why! Maybe it's because like, I feel totally different and totally left out :( It's not easy you know! It makes me so sad I don't even know why.. I ask Ibu if I could just buy it using my own money, and she was like,"Okay, tomorrow we'll buy it" but I don't know whether she's serious or she's just joking. I hope it's true!! Ameen~!

It's not that easy.

People can just easily say "Talk to them" "Say hi" Well, it's not that easy to me. Everytime I do wanna talk to them, I'll be nervous. I'll be nervous that I will pronounce it wrong. And I can't even say the sentences without actually build it in my head first

 And when the time I do build it and tried to pronounce it; the bell rings --or the people I wanna talk to; talks to someone else. It seems like everyone is avoiding me. Why can't there be someone who will bear with me? Like, guide me and stuffs. They just seem like they don't actually care! sigh.

This is what happens to me. All of the time. Why did I've always blame people when it is actually MY fault? The thing is, I don't even know what I don't know! :( I'm clueless.. What should I do.. Anyone? HELP ME! ><

2 days left.. [[Countdown]]

OMG 2 days left and it's Semester Two!! Excited yet scared tho >< hahhaa. What should I expect? :/

1. I don't wanna hangout with my sisters anymore.
2. Then, who am I gonna hangout with?
3. If I do have someone, what am I gonna say?
4. What should I do?
5. What "style" of hijab am I gonna wear?
6. Should I bring food for them?
7. What are they having for lunch?
8. What kind of lunch should I bring?
9. Should I bring some for them tho?

Sigh. I don't even know whether or not I gotta hangout with them ;( But THANK GOD I don't even have either Art or IT class tomorrow. At least there are something NOT to be worry about. lol. Hmm.. Gotta search it out!! "How to make friends" hahha!

It's over.

Finally it's over!! Can't believe it how a term passes so fast TT A semester to go! Next semester, I wanna change. I wanna be totally different! hahha not really but yeah.

I've decided to NOT hangout with my sisters anymore and I wanna try to make friends. lol, sounds like a dork. Sad to say but it's true.. I don't even have any friends TT

Anyways, tired of talking about that. We received our new time table for semester two today!! And I got Art and IT -- WTH did they put me in there. I'm not good at Art. And I don't have an iPad!

I wish I'll have and iPad eventhough I'll only be there for another semester bla bla blaa. I wonder if I could cope.. insyaAllah, ameen!! This semester I wanna "record" EVERTHING that happens to me.

Cause, why not? ;P it's like a once in a lifetime experience you know!! I wonder if I would regret if I do NOT record it down in the future.. Whatever it is.. can't wait for a new life in Semester Two!! Three days more!! Gotta get ready for it ^^ lol ;P