Teary

I just don't know what actually happened and what I felt today. Today is Miss Spensieri's last day :( I got so sad last night and throughout today until now. The only thing I could remember that made me happy was when we're coming into our French class. The French class before us just walk out and a girl from that class named Dina; I guess, asked me "Do you have French Class now?" I just answered "Yea" cause I'm seriously not in the mood to meet Miss Spensieri for the very last time. (I hope not). I'm just not ready. I don't want an ending! Then, she asked "What's your name?" And I just replied "Humaira" when suddenly Miss Spensieri came and said.. "She's the best student, didn't you know?" That made me so happy I felt like I was flying into the air. Then Dina asked "Then, how about me?" Miss Spensieri without hesitation replied "You're the second best student" and that made me even more happy I think I died for a moment. Then Dina started talking about her GPA mark and stuffs I realized back again-- this is real, this is happening. And I felt as if there's a knife of sadness stabbed deeply in me everything turns black for a moment all of the sadness comes to me back again. After all of the "nonsense", Miss Spensieri let us come into our class and said it's free time cause it's her last day and she wanna treat us with candies and stuffs. I just don't feel like candies. Eventhough I eat anything and everything, I just can't accept the fact that she's moving away that I don't feel like candies or anything :( I don't feel like eating. I wasn't even strong enough to see her face. I took my iPad and tried to distract myself but guess what I see? Guess what's on the news? The died bodies of the passengers boarding MH17; a Malaysian plane that got shot down in Ukraine, is coming home.. And it's officially Malaysia's Grief Day.. Eventhough I'm 6,435 kilometres away from Malaysia, I could still feel the tense and grief.. And all of this made me even sadder than ever. I got so sad I think I cried when unexpectedly Miss Spensieri called my name. I blinked my eyes a couple of times pretending as if there's something in my eyes. I faced her (eventhough I don't wanna) and realized that the whole class were looking at me. And that's when my heart stopped for a moment. "Why did handshake-d me?" She asked. I let out a relief sigh and explained it all to them all. Adna came to the front and asked Miss Spensieri her contacts but she won't give us cause she said she's our teacher and we're her students. Then Adna asked whether she could hug her, but Miss Spensieri said that she can't. Why? Cause she's our teacher and we're her students. "But we could have a Hi5?" Miss Spensieri said and they Hi5-ed each other. That made Adna so happy. Then I felt so lucky that I handshake-d her :D It makes me wonder.. In Malaysia, we kinda like have to handshake with our teacher at the end of each class to thank and show respect to them. We could just hug each other if we want to and our relationship was like friends or even sisters. We could just contact each other through Whatsapp, Facebook or any other ways to keep in touch with each other and that's basically what I do now. But why can't we do it here? It feels so different here and I think most of the teachers here don't even like me.. Except for Miss Spensieri :) Anyways, then our last period was finally over and it's time to say goodbye. Everyone doesn't seem like they want an ending for this too. For a few seconds we just stand there like statues while the bell rang like a hammer knocking our hearts into pieces. I gotta admit it, it's hard to say goodbye. I tried to be strong and keep my head up. I came to her, gave her my little card I made to show how I appreciated her presence in my life and think how life's gonna be like without her back again. "She won't even remember me" I thought. When suddenly she said "I wanna hug you" it made me really asdfghjkl I can't even describe what I felt. I hug her but I just can't hold it much longer. I let her go and ran outside of the class. I'm so happy yet so sad I just can't keep my mind right. I should have hug her longer and never let her go.. Sigh. It's weird how someone could be really special in your life eventhough they had just came. I can't imagine how she could be the one I'm looking forward to see everyday for the past six weeks of my life. And my! How six weeks had passed like a blink of an eye. Everything is going to be back to normal, I guess. But my perspective about French will never be the same again. She'll always be in my heart forever and I hope our memories will never fade.. Good luck, Miss Spensieri :) I pray that you'll excel in your career, in your life and everything you wanna do. You're the most lovely teacher I'd ever met in Roxburgh College ❤️ I'll be missing you so much!! TT Sincerely, Humaira.